The Em Dash #21
*Gasp*
I’m emailing you on time?!
Yes. Because I said I would, but also because I woke up this morning randomly thinking about this terrible first date I had. And I honestly just had to tell you, Friend.
I met this guy, let’s call him Denny (because I straight up don’t remember this dude’s name 🤭), while out at a bar/club with my bestie. He was cute, a good dancer, and was making serious eye contact with yours truly.
So, I slipped him my number before we left—wait what is this, the 90s?! I put my number in his phone, and crossed my fingers he’d actually hit me up.
A day or two later, Denny texted me to ask if I’d be down to get lunch. I waited an ~appropriate~ amount of time before responding that I’d love to!
Now, there were plenty of yellow-to-red flags I completely ignored—like the fact that I lived in the city and he lived in a northern suburb, and instead of agreeing to meet in the middle, he suggested I drive 45 minutes to come some place closer to him.
Or the fact that his first and main topic of conversation while we waited in line was cryptocurrency.
I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt (mostly because he was realllly cute), but then he also made me pay for my meal?!
(Yes, I’m one of those—if you ask me out, you’re paying. But also, don’t ask me out, I’m married!)
So we’re basically five minutes into this date, right? And I was already done. After I paid for my meal, I texted my friend (who had asked to be kept updated) that the date was “so far MEH.”
And then as soon as I hit “send,” I realized Denny was the last person I texted and our message thread was still open.
My heart was pounding and my thoughts were racing trying to figure out how the hell I was going to explain this.
When we got to the table, I decided to just be honest—sorta. I told him I had just sent him a message. And he smiled and said, “Should I read it?” The poor guy probably thought I was flirting with him. 😂
I said, “No, probably not. Just wait till after.” He said okay and put his phone on the table. But not thirty seconds later, he picked it back up.
“I’m sorry, I just have to see it.”
After he read it, he pulled one of these
And said, “You don’t even know me and you’re already judging me?”
I. Was. MORTIFIED.
All I could say was, “Well… I’m kind of a judgy person?”
Friend, we continued the date, and it was relatively normal, but that was obviously the last time we saw each other. Best believe I deleted his number the second I got back to my car.
Now, why am I telling you this?
Because it’s a fun way to say: Make sure you are writing to the RIGHT person!
It’s true for text messages, and it’s true for books.
If you don’t have an ideal reader in mind, you don’t who you’re writing to or (eventually) who you’ll be marketing to. And that’s a problem.
Take a book like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. This book is NOT for everyone. Plenty of people are completely affronted by the word “Fuck,” and would call Mark Manson callous and unprofessional and not a credible person at all.
And maybe that’s true—I don’t know the man—but who cares? Not him! He’s writing for the person who goes “Fuck yeah! An author not afraid to curse!” Those are his people.
So while you’re writing your book, instead of wondering “Will people understand this?” just picture that one ideal reader in your head—the exact person you are hoping will pick up your book—and ask if they will understand it.
Magic is made at the intersection of what that reader needs to hear and what you want to say.
Next week, I’ll talk more about how to figure out who that person is. In the meantime…
Books!
Currently Reading: The Vanishing Half - Brit Bennett
Anxiously Awaiting This Release: I Am the Dark That Answers When You Call - Jamison Shea (This is a sequel, so I’ll also be rereading I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me.)
Note: These are bookshop.org affiliate links.
Thanks for being here, First name / Friend!
See ya next week. :)
P.S. If you found this useful, forward it to a writing friend! They can subscribe and be part of the cool kids club, too. 😎
