The Em Dash #17
When I was in 7th grade, I was obsessed with this boy I had met at a family party. His name was Josh (red flag #1? lol). He was sooooo cute and he flirted with me shamelessly.
If you go into my attic and dig through the two boxes labeled “Journals” you can probably find the one I started and finished the year I met him.
I’ve kept a diary or journal basically since I learned to write (I once stapled a bunch of loose leaf pages together in first grade because I lost the notebook I had been using as a diary to record how much I loved Nick Carter), and 7th grade was the first time I filled an entire notebook.
How did I do that, you ask? By writing obsessively. Yes, as I said, I was obsessed with Josh, so there were plenty of entries (who am I kidding? every entry was) about him, but I also mean I was obsessed with writing.
Friend, I mean I brought my journal everywhere with me. And in between classes, while my mom was driving us to get dinner, waiting for the popcorn to pop in the microwave, during Grounded for Life commercials, and any other pocket of time I could find, I would write.
Literally couldn’t stop myself, and after that first full book, I filled another every semester through high school. Then, one a year for college. (I wrote less because I was away from home for the first time and got into maaaany shenanigans. 😅) BUT I did start a personal blog in college, which I mentioned in The Em Dash #14, so I guess writing was still happening.
Anyway, I’m telling you all this because in my head, this is who Sabrina is, a writer. But if you look at my last few journals, you would not get the sense that I am obsessed with writing.
I’ve let writing turn into a tool. For personal development, for professional development, for marketing. 😡
Is it good for all of those things? Yes! Are these the reasons I fell in love with writing? Hell no!!
My #1 reason for filling over 35 journals since the age of 12 (and partially filling at least 10 before that) was SELF-EXPRESSION.
So, Friend, I’m getting back to that. Sure, I’ll still write out the occasional gratitude and affirmations lists, I will of course continue writing The Em Dash (almost) every week, and I’m even adding a blog to my website later this month. But my journal is for full, unfiltered, unhindered expression.
And that’s how I plan to fall back in love with writing. By letting myself do it without constraints. No rules or frameworks to follow. No prompts to guide me (unless I’m feeling really stuck). No narrative to create or force. No “goal” or “point” I must make for “the reader.”
I’m just going to write. Even if I only do it for 5 minutes a day, that would be better than the non-habit I have now.
I’m so curious, Friend, what’s your current relationship with writing like? Reply to this email to let me know!
A Book That Inspires Me
Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert
Note: These are bookshop.org affiliate links
Happy writing, First name / Friend. Hope you are able to let go of all expectations and express yourself with full abandon. <3
See ya next week. :)
P.S. If you found this useful, forward it to a writing friend! They can subscribe and be part of the cool kids club, too. 😎
